[0:00]
The video begins with a slow pan across an empty dance studio. A stack of chairs lines one side of the room. The other side is a wall of mirrors, a rail splitting across the width.
[0:04]
A man enters the frame. He is wearing a grey boiler suit and is barefoot. His head is shaved and his ethnicity is not clear. He looks into the camera once as he walks into the centre of the room but does not acknowledge it in any other manner.
[0:06]
Slight visual disturbance in the bottom-right corner. Several theories have been proposed about the source of this disturbance, the most popular of which is Jekyll4664’s ‘false eyes’ theory, which you can find at […].
[0:07]
The voiceover begins. It is not clear if this voice belongs to the same man in the video. Personally, I don’t think it does. The man in the video looks like he would have a deeper voice, a less childish voice.
V/O: Welcome to your second lesson of ballroom dancing basics. (NB: Lesson one was never uploaded.)
V/O: Today we are covering off footwork in greater detail. Put on your dancing shoes and let’s get to it.
[0:15]
Scene fades to black, before immediately fading back in. The man hasn’t moved from the centre of the room.
V/O: A mistake many beginners make is not to split their weight properly. We will practice the dance walk to help you understand the correct way to move. Do not make plodding steps.
[0:24]
The man takes several exaggerated, heavy steps towards the mirrors, then stops. He looks into the mirror and angles his head away, to look-side on at his reflection.
V/O: What you need is a smooth, gliding step. The swinging free foot needs to skim the floor as shown, skimming the toe and then the heel on forward steps, and vice versa on backwards steps.
[0:27]
Another visual distortion, this time on the man’s right thigh and hand.
[0:31]
The man does not move at this set of instructions. He continues to look at the mirror wall, and then at something out of the frame.
V/O: One, two, three. One, two, three.
[0:35]
The man is launched across the room into the stack of chairs. Although nothing can be seen in frame-by-frame analysis, the movement of his body suggests something the size of a football, but faster and heavier, striking him in the abdomen.
V/O: Great work. Let’s try that again, going backwards this time. One, two, three.
[0:56]
The man picks himself up from the collapsed pile of chairs. He does not seem surprised or distressed by what has just occurred, although his stance suggests he has incurred some injury. He puts his hands on his thighs and pants.
V/O: And again.
[1:03]
Scene fades to black, and again immediately fades back in. The man is lying on the floor in the centre of the room.
V/O: Now, let’s try a spin turn. See how the heel connects to the floor and then peels off…
[1:07]
Visual distortion across entire screen.
[1:09]
Audio distortion.
V/O: Turn, and complete.
[1:20]
The man has stayed spread-eagled on the floor throughout this narration. However, at this point he is dragged out of frame by his clothes. From the way the fabric on his left arm and leg tents up, it appears as if many hooks have been inserted into his suit and are now being used to drag him away – although no such hooks or wire can be seen even in a frame-by-frame analysis.
V/O: Good.
[1:30-2:01]
The video continues to run of the empty studio, with the voiceover repeating the ‘one, two, three’ at random times. Diabolical1982’s theory that the audio has been spliced and cut up across the video has attracted a lot of criticism over the past few weeks, but I think she may be onto something here…is the voiceover aware of what is happening? Are they directing events somehow? Others have focused on cracking the code between the audio and what takes place on the screen – is there a logic to the movements, to the unknown force, that can be linked to the dry and monotonous tutorial of how to perform a Viennese waltz? I’ll be doing a deep dive at 9:00AM EST this Sunday if anyone wants to join my stream, please come along.
Alexander James 